Things to be thankful for...

Today has been possibly one of the worst days of my life. I went for my 12 week ultrasound today but they couldn't find a heartbeat. The baby was not as developed as it should have been at 12 weeks.

I never intended this blog to really be about anything other than my progress with sewing and knitting. I was so excited yesterday to reach the 12 week mark; I wanted to tell the world. It was so unexpected today to receive such terrible news.  Whilst I always knew that miscarrying was a possibility, I could never have prepared myself to receive such news.

I don't feel that I could have continued blogging without tackling this issue. There will be no maternity or baby clothes to make for a while. My life has changed now and this experience will undoubtedly have repercussions.

I've cried, a lot, obviously. It has been really hard to come to terms with for both myself, my husband and our immediate family. In my mind I was planning on holding my baby this christmas. But I understand that it wasn't meant to be. Something, somehow was not right with this pregnancy and so nature has taken it's course.

I know with time I will heal and we will try again for a baby. In the mean time I am considering how my immediate future has changed. There is a lot in my life for me to be thankful for. Here are some of them.

• My Wonderful Husband. My rock, my supporter. He was so brave today and I am so thankful to have him by my side. 
• My family. I have a wonderful support network and I really am thankful to them all. 
• I can get pregnant. Now that I have been pregnant, even though it didn't work out I know I can get pregnant again. 
• Finances. Finanically this wasn't the best time for us to have a baby. I can now save and prepare for the future and hopefully our new house will be ready by the time any future babies will come along. 
• No maternity clothes this summer. I guess the denim Delphine and floral shirt dress will get made after all. 

I'm sure there are more. It might seem strange to some, blogging so soon after such news. But writing about it has been healing for me. I'm trying to be pragmatic and move forward. Thankyou for reading.